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Post by Racheyroo on Jan 8, 2012 21:06:48 GMT -5
SOO has anyone else had problems in their marriage or relationship since surgery? In the beginning my hubby was super supportive of everything.. and here recently he has become super distant, we hardly talk, touch, kiss etc. I'm not sure what to do about it. Everytime I have tried to talk to him in regards to it he flips out and gives me the cold shoulder even worse! It's getting to the point where I have considered a separation... sorry to vent here, but everyone i talk to friends/family keep telling me its not that bad but it really is...
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Post by NewMeNow2010 on Jan 9, 2012 16:42:14 GMT -5
=/ I know we talked about this. I adore my husband and feel lucky to have him, 98% of the time he is a great guy BUT-- he gets on me for anything I eat. I had 1/2 a slice of my P28 bread toasted yesterday and he had the nerve to go, "Can you have that?" with a confused look on his face. He gets that way when it comes to food and drinks and I just don't get it. I have given up SO many food items and drink items and I am pretty strict with what I allow in my diet so we get into fights over that. I don't question what he eats or how much of it, so I feel like I shouldn't be under the microscope! I am sorry that you are considering a separation. What I do know is you are an awesome woman that is beyond beautiful, inside and out, and you deserve HAPPINESS. You just need to figure out what 'happiness' is for you <3 We are all here for you!
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Post by MHall624 on Jan 10, 2012 9:36:25 GMT -5
I can sympathize. My weight loss has been great for relations between my husband and I...but has posed challenges I didn't expect to face. All of the attention has been difficult for me to handle. He hasn't always done the best job of paying attention to my feelings...sometimes I have felt like he isn't that engaged in our relationship. We've been married for coming up on six years and sometimes it can just be boring, to be honest. I was really pissed when he didn't acknowledge my 100 pound weight loss. I have been telling him for...pretty much our whole marraige (after stupidly telling him ONE Valentines Day not to buy flowers they just die) that I would love to get flowers SOME day! I thought for sure this would be the perfect occasion...but he didn't do it. For me, that just really changed something. I was angry, hurt and annoyed that he didn't take time to acknowledge my success. I let him know but it had continued to really bother me. We still have to work on our relationship all of the time...I mean, come on, who doesn't? He is a great guy and sure worth it all, but it takes a lot of work. We don't have any time alone together and hardly see each other, working opposite shifts....it's all very difficult. I have contemplated going back to my Bari psychologist to talk about my feelings...and I still may one of these days. However, we just keep plugging away and I always try to be honest with him, even if it is a hard thing to do. It seems to have worked for us so far. I really wish you the best, just know you are not alone. There are many of us who have marital issues post GBS. If you ever need to talk just let me know. Hang in there.
Maggie
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Post by NewMeNow2010 on Jan 11, 2012 14:20:25 GMT -5
If I had known your address, I so would have sent flowers! You DESERVE flowers! My husband is the SAME way though. I'll even pretty much drop the hint to him, very bluntly..and nope, right over his head! My ruby red and diamond ring that I got before our anniversary (as a gift for our anniversary) was the only surprise he's ever given me in 4 years, LOL!
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Post by Amber Delaney on Jan 11, 2012 18:17:54 GMT -5
Sorry to hear that Racheyroo, I use to think that my husband remembered to send me flowers but then I found out that is was his mother the whole time?!?! I kinda knew but wasnt sure, as she is a florist, but I thought that he at least reminded her to send them....she retired last year and you know what, I have not received flowers since and I asked him about it the other day and he said "I dont remember those dates my mother had to remind me........." ugh...men....only if they new how much flowers can really help them out.
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Post by Racheyroo on Jan 13, 2012 1:21:49 GMT -5
thanks ladies def lots goin on.. and will prob be venting quite a bit! Maggie sure sorry to hear that.. MEN!!! ugh sometimes they are just ... i don't even know a word to describe them!
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Post by MHall624 on Jan 14, 2012 20:17:42 GMT -5
Rach, They really are Mars, aren't they!?! Hope you're hanging in there!!!!
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